Thursday, April 26, 2007

Questions in ma mind..

I have been thinking a lot these days..[its a miracle that i even think :P ..lol]..Not about physics or chemistry..no..not circuits..about myself..what am i to the world....i was jus lookin at my college calender over the past one year..what the hell did i achieve comin to college??...lemme c..i did a paper presentation..went to a couple of quizzes..won some stupid competitions in college...ellarum panrathu thaan...then comin to the studyin part i did a bit..not to my full potential...[if i had did the "workin-to-my-full-potential" thingy i wouldn be in SREC...lol]..but i love my college..its like the perfect place for me...lookin on the socialising lessons i learnt...quite a lot..all the guys of my class are simply awesome..we are one BIG gang always together..one of my fren's dad passed away a couple of months ago..i remember everything that happened that day..
I was just going on a casual walk to the hostel..i went straight to susheel's room..he had been moody since morning..plus he didn attend 3rd and 4th hours..so i jus thought i would check on him....i entered his room and felt uneasy..i couldn find him...there couched in a corner..i was like "Enna da machan....??"..he turned up with tears in his eyes..then sampath told me.."susheel's dad passed away an hour ago"...My God..I stood their speechless..i was confused,irritated..confused cos i didn kno wat i could do to help the poor fella...irritated cos it was real unfair decision on him...he was cryin and he looked at me and said.."machan..enna da ippadi pannitaan!!"...i could see tears out of the corner of my eye..i controlled it and wiped em off...i tried to make him feel better..but what could i possibly say..i had no words..console..i tried that..but my heart went real heavy..i blamed god..cursed him rather..for this totally abrupt unfair situation...that afternoon i told my other class guys..all of em were there..each n every one to support him...stay by him at this sorta situation...i kept away..i was questionin myself.."why didn you cry?..you kno u feel bad??..but y didn you cry?.."..thinking such thoughts only made it worse..i actually thouhg ti was a bad person cos i didn cry..which i kno is utterly stupid..but i guess..what ever..then v all did our best to console him...all of the guys helped us to get tickets for susheel to go to hydrebad..and a very unforgettable name resounded in our ears...he was SATISH..he was doin MCA first year in our college...if it had not been for him,v couldn hav done nethin..he helped us wit money to get the tickets..he was there all the way..makin fone calls to travel agencies..blockin tickets..Vasanthan arranged for a call taxi...me,susheel,sampath and sathya went in the car along wit the DAS...Das was also very helpful..thanks to his mom,we got tickets on a certain airline..meanwhile karthi,vinod,sriram and sarvo had already taken bikes to search for tickets..finally we made sure he got the flight...i jus look back at the incident and i wonder at how great the class guys are..they are there for u whenever you need them...each n everyone..unhesistating n relentless...i SALUTE you all my frens...
Getting back to the questions in my head....i was wonderin if i was in anyway contaminated in the head for not cryin...i dunno..i felt very sad..i knew how tough it was for him..but i only wanted to share his sorrow..i so wanted to get the burden of his shoulders..these days i see him in class..v share a light moment..but i can see the sadness predominant at the corner of his eye..and i always make sure that he is fine and doin ok...i still pray to god everyday and i ask him one thing..only one "God,please let me not see somethin like this happen again.."...i kno my prayers are definitely gonna b answered..but lookin at this from a broader perspective..lookin at other people in the world who suffer and share the same sadness...i only hope i can have a word with all of them..my point is this:If you can show these people that you are always there for them,that ll be the major talking point in years to come..and if you rally mean it that alone is enough to stir some good will in their hearts..so my frens..dont think im givin you crap advice..Just see to that whenever you can,,make sure that people like susheel..people whom you may or may not know..people that need your attention..people who hide their sorrow..make sure that you do your part to make their lives a better peaceful one for them...

4 comments:

Nithya said...

Wow..now this was totally unexpected..i mean i never expected such sorta post to come frm a fella, whose magnum opus(es)include poems on frustration, love and 'monsters' :P

"If you can show these people that you are always there for them,that ll be the major talking point in years to come"

Well, there are a lot of Susheels out here in the world,as you pointed out in your post... loads of people, who don't have a single soul to share their joys and sorrows with...
If you are so keen on comforting a few people, and letting them kno that u r there for 'em, then I could suggest something..You could do some volunteer service in an old age home or an orphanage or a cancer institute, talk to the people present out there, comfort them, bring a smile on their face, entertain them with your conversations and just spend sometime with them..All they crave for is somebody to talk to, not just some shoulder to cry on....
Devoting some time for such activities wouldn't hurt, would it ? I mean in this materialistic world, nobody wuld want to spend (or rather waste) time in such places, especially people belonging to our age-group..

".i was wonderin if i was in anyway contaminated in the head for not cryin"

At times Vasanth, a lot of emotions , a lot of reactions,feelings and responses are better left unexpressed...It isn't possible for people to shed tears for each and every sad happening, I mean there are a few people, who can't express their feelings out in the form of tears or even smiles for that matter...Contamination shouldn't exist in the heart, it's just ok if it exists in the head...just empathizing with them, at times will do..The souls will have to communicate, not the tears..

Ryan said...

dei this is somehwat like how i felt when vicky died u know..tears dint flow that easily...sometimes anger just douses the sorrow...you are human alrite...

you know thats what friends are for....there when u need em the most....

gud post even tho its a sad one....

Id like to meet ur buds some day!!

SHIVA said...

poor fella.. i know ppl tell tat i dont show my feelings, but i can now say "THE GR8 vasanth" also does not :P.

anyways tat guy is one poor fella and as sharan said i would like 2 meet those guys once

Vasanth viswanathan said...

@ sharan- all of em are great dude..its a great gang...
@ shiva-i always make sure he's ok..ull definitely get to meet em..